Question: "How do I get my addicted partner to go to rehab?"

1. That’s why I started The Recovery Revolution.

Question: "How do I get my addicted partner to go to rehab?"

Cory Martin
4 minute read

If you’re a partner or loved one of someone in addiction, you’ve probably tried a lot of tactics to get them to stop.

You’ve maybe even done some of the following:

Begged them to stop

Told them how bad it made you feel

Cried at their feet

Yelled in their face

Kicked them out of the house

Given them ultimatums

Taken their things away

Thrown out paraphernalia or substances to prevent them from using

Talked about their problem to their friends in an attempt to have THOSE people reach out and get them to stop.

And you may have even tried bribing them, threatening them, or having an intervention.

And let me guess... All those tactics worked really well, everyone came out of it happy and fulfilled, and you now have an instagram-perfect relationship with them now, right?

(Probably not? Ok, keep reading)

The reason none of these tactics work is because that’s all they are. Tactics. AKA, these are simply forms of manipulation we’ve learned from other dysfunctional people, which taught us how to solve problems in an equally dysfunctional way. And to solve the problem of a loved one in deep, disconnected suffering, a disconnected response like that is just not going to get the results we want.

But who can blame us? We've been run through the ringer of their addiction, no wonder we aren't doing things "the right way"

You're right. It's definitely understandable that we're not always making the most conscious and perfect choices. That doesn't mean it's helping though.

So what can we do instead?

Connect with them.

Communicate with them.

Treat them like human beings.

Commit to understanding them.

And more than anything else, we need to lead by example.

But chances are, if you have a loved one who is struggling, you’ve also probably learned some really unhealthy behaviors while trying to “fix” them. If you’re still in that toxic cycle, you can’t just snap yourself out of it, and do better. You will need structure, guidance, and a process by which to address your own issues, and reform your own behavior.

That’s why I started The Recovery Revolution.

The Recovery Revolution is my mission to empower the partners and loved ones of those who struggle with addiction, toward becoming powerful advocates for change, healing, and improved addiction recovery rates. We do this by getting help for OURSELVES first, and changing how we show up so that we can cultivate the best environment possible for recovery.

You may be asking,

“Why should I get help before they do? They’re the one with a problem.” My response to that is simple. If you are certain you don’t need help, and are convinced you don’t have a problem, then you also don’t need them to get help either. Healed, stable people do not lose themselves over the struggles of others. If there’s a little part of you that thinks you might need help, keep reading.

Did you know:

Research indicates that a healthy, psycho-educated family structure increases successful recovery rates in people who struggle with addiction. And I’ll tell you something purely anecdotally: for every person who tells me “they have to want help” I hear from two to three people in recovery that the support and love from their family and friends was CRUCIAL to their healing process.

Over the past few years, I’ve talked to hundreds of people who have recovered from addiction. I’ve never heard anyone say that being shamed, yelled at, or threatened was the driving factor that got them healthy. So what does work?

Improving our own behavior first.

And I don't just say this because of the research. I've experienced the benefits of changing my own behavior, and how important it can be to supporting those around me.

When I first established The Recovery Revolution, one of the first courses I created for partners and families was a short educational program called Project Influence.

Project Influence is a 7 day intro-to-recovery program for partners and families of people in addiction, designed to teach you new tools, skills, and methods for interacting with your loved one in a way that improves your relationship, and creates a healthy environment for recovery to take root.