There are 3 common behavioral themes you can observe within factions of human society that tend to crop up within codependent social dynamics.
1. Requiring speech, behavior, or beliefs to support a status quo. (Control/Manipulation)
2. Social pressure to lie and change yourself for other people. (Inauthenticity/Self Deception)
3. Celebrating victimhood, using pain as social currency (Enabling/Coddling)
These are all gestalt or big picture social manifestations of a codependent mindset.
They are rooted in illusions about what is real, what is true about us, and what is true about other people.
In order to break these illusions, we must commit to observing things as they are.
EVEN IF that scares us, threatens us, or makes us look or feel weak.
The ego doesn’t want to be threatened. The ego wants to be right. The ego wants to be confirmed, validated, comforted, and not challenged.
When we let our ego run the show, codependency is often not far behind.
This is why overcoming codependency can be SO difficult, and seem so contradictory to what we are taught and encouraged to participate in as a society.
Because it is. It is a direct contradiction to the insecure, ego-driven, fearful perspective that we are exposed to through media, entertainment and politics.
Now, this is not to say some things aren’t scary. There is a reason we have a fear response, and that is to keep us safe.
But the work in healing codependency is all about discernment. Learning to discern when is an appropriate and necessary time to be afraid, to jump into action, to work to make change.
And learning when it is time to sit, to be introspective, in patience, waiting for the winds to change.
To everything there is a season.
Codependency keeps us stuck in one season. To recover from codependency, we need to let ourselves experience the full spectrum of life’s experience, and appreciate life, in every moment.