That feeling when you love someone in addiction:
Do you ever wish they would just GO TO REHAB already, so you could finally breathe?
Yeah, I’ve been there too.
You’re exhausted. Confused. Probably questioning everything about your relationship, your choices, and yourself.
And deep down, it feels like nothing can get better until they get their sh** together.
Meanwhile, you’re stuck. Trying to figure out how to help… or wondering if you even can.
You’ve probably heard the greatest hits of bad advice:
“They have to hit rock bottom.”
“Tough love is the only way.”
“Once an addict, always an addict.”
So you did what anyone would do when they’re desperate—you read the books, called the rehab centers, tried to stage interventions, asked friends for ideas (until they got tired of hearing about it), maybe even dipped into a support group or two.
Same. I did all of it. Over and over again.
And spoiler:
If any of that worked, you wouldn’t still be here. You’d be living your life, not scrolling this page trying to figure out how to survive loving someone who’s addicted.
The reason those tactics don't really work is NOT because we don't care enough or we don't love them enough, and it's NOT because they're bad people.
You’ve done your homework. You’ve read the books, watched the videos, maybe even sat through meetings.
You know more about addiction than most professionals.
You’ve mapped out exactly what they should do to get help—and on paper, it seems simple enough.
But real life doesn’t follow a checklist.
Instead, it probably looks more like this:
Every time they’re high or drunk, it blows up into a fight.
You’re yelling more than you ever thought you would—more than you want to admit.
They disappear. They dodge the rehab conversation. They gaslight, stonewall, or storm out.
Your money’s vanishing into their addiction.
And even when you do find the right moment to talk… they say something that cuts deep, and boom—there goes your calm. Another conversation down the drain.
And if they do try to get clean?
You’re stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You’re watching their every move, looking for signs they’re lying again.
You’re so resentful, you can’t even enjoy the good days without flinching.
You’ve tried detaching with love. You’ve tried every “right” thing.
And it’s still not working. Still not sticking.
You’re not broken. You’re not doing it wrong.
There is something missing—but it’s not just you. I’ve lived this cycle too.
Hi, I'm Cory, and I love someone who struggles with addiction.
I’m not a therapist. I’m not a doctor. I’m someone who’s been in the trenches—crying in the middle of the night, walking on eggshells, and Googling rehab options at 3AM. I built Heal for Real because I couldn’t find the kind of support I needed when I was losing myself trying to save someone else. This program is the lifeline I wish I had—real, research-backed, and made for people like us to finally get the help we deserve.
I’ve loved many people who have struggled with addiction.
Let me tell you one story.
This story shattered everything I thought I knew about addiction, recovery, and what it means to love someone who’s drowning.
I was living with someone I cared about deeply. It was one of those “it’s complicated” relationships—but the one thing that wasn’t complicated? The drinking. It was bad. Constant. Heavy. Dangerous.
Their pain ran deep, long before I ever showed up. Everyone in their life—family, friends, even exes—told me the same thing:
“There’s nothing you can do. They have to help themselves.”
But I’m stubborn.
Four years of trying kind of stubborn.
I begged. I pleaded. I threatened. I watched them suffer through withdrawals at home—so many times I lost count.
And in the middle of all that, I started losing myself.
That’s when people started telling me, “You should try a support group.”
So I thought,"What the hell, a support group can't possibly make me feel WORSE than I already do"
Being around people who had similar experiences was refreshing at first. I was able to talk about my problems with other people who got it.
We held hands. We said the serenity prayer.
And they told me, “Keep coming back. It works if you work it.”
So I did.
I bought the books. I made friends. I showed up. I dove in—because I was desperate for something to work.
But the longer I stayed, the more unsettled I felt.
Week after week, I kept hearing the same stories… from the same people. Nothing was changing. No one seemed to be getting better.
Where was this “serenity” we were all supposed to be chasing?
When I asked about actual solutions, I was told I was powerless.
“You didn’t cause it.”
“You can’t cure it.”
“You can’t control it.”
When I shared what had actually helped me, I was shut down.
“That’s not how we do things here.”
“No advice. Just listen.”
Apparently, the only thing I could do was leave them alone—and pray.
And that just didn’t sit right with me...
It just didn’t make sense to me that a support group would leave me feeling worse, and more hopeless, than I did when I came in.
Luckily, I’m no stranger to addiction myself.
Here’s the part that didn’t make sense to me:
A year before I ever sat in those meetings, I had gone through my own recovery—from a destructive drinking habit and a brutal two-pack-a-day cigarette addiction I carried for over a decade.
And I’ll tell you the truth:
I didn’t get there alone.
The love, support, and accountability from the people closest to me?
It was crucial. I would never have made it without them.
So how could I believe I was powerless to help someone else?
I left my meeting feeling powerless… but knowing there had to be something I was missing.
The more I sat in those rooms, the more I realized something:
What they were teaching about addiction didn’t line up with my lived experience.
So I started digging.
And it didn’t take long to uncover the truth—support groups, pop culture, even professionals were spreading myths about addiction. Half-truths. Flat-out misinformation.
These ideas weren’t just wrong—they were harmful. They were keeping people stuck, sick, and hopeless.
So I made it my mission to cut through the noise.
To separate what’s actually true from what’s just been repeated so many times, people assume it is.
That’s where Heal for Real began.
RECOVERY FACT:
Studies have shown that the influence of a compassionate, psycho-educated support system contributes to higher success rates in recovery.
Source: Mohd, H. (2008) Family Support as an Intervention Strategy in Drug Addiction Recovery
Here’s what I learned, and what I want to teach you.
You have WAY more influence than you think.
Not control—influence. And in a relationship with someone who’s struggling with addiction, that difference matters.
The problem isn’t that you don’t care enough.
It’s that no one ever showed you how to use the power you already have.
You’re trying everything—talking, pleading, researching, sacrificing—but it’s like swinging in the dark, hoping something sticks.
Let’s change that.
Hear What People are Saying About Heal for Real
"Heal For Real has saved my life."
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"Heal for Real was like having a rollercoaster EJECT button plopped into my lap."
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"This program helped me find myself — and do so alongside an amazing community of women"
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"Before Heal for Real, I was in a very dark place."
Accordion body 3
The heartbreaking truth is this:
Addiction pushes people away from the very things they need most—connection, trust, and belonging.
Instead of creating safety and closeness, their behavior breeds chaos, confusion, and resentment. Not because they’re bad people, but because addiction hijacks everything.
And here’s the kicker—even with the best intentions, families often end up co-creating the exact environment that makes recovery harder, not easier.
Not because they don’t care.
Because no one ever taught them how to respond differently.
People need connection to heal.
Addiction cuts people off from that.
That’s why rebuilding trust and belonging isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.
Addiction cuts people off from that.
That’s why rebuilding trust and belonging isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.
Humans learn by watching, listening, and connecting—not just in classrooms, but through the people closest to us.
That means you, the partner or family member, are in a powerful position to influence someone’s recovery—simply by how you show up.
If you’re on this page, you probably matter a LOT to someone who struggles with addiction (yes, even if they say you don’t).
Just like their addiction has impacted you—your stress, your sleep, your sanity—you have the power to impact them, too.
And whether you realize it or not, you already are.
The key is learning how to use that influence on purpose.
Now, maybe you’re thinking:
"I’ve told them a million times what they should do. They never listen."
That’s where most people get it twisted.
Influence isn’t about telling. It’s not control, commands, or manipulation.
It’s about how you show up.
Your energy. Your boundaries. Your example—even when no one’s watching.
That’s what changes the game.
And I bet there are ways you’ve been leading, that you don’t even realize.
Does this sound like you?
You worry about your partner in addiction
You cry over their behavior
You try to reason with them to stop using
You walk on eggshells around the topic of their addiction
You clean up after them when they go on benders
You resent them for their addiction and lost trust in them as a result of their addiction
You keep begging them to stop using (or else!)
You always catch them in lies about their addiction (and then YOU lie to cover for them)
You chase them out the door for being high or drunk (and then beg them to come back, even if they haven't gone to rehab yet)
You threaten to leave them for not being sober (but then for some reason, you can't seem to leave)
Time and time again, you find yourself stuck in the same vicious cycles that you can't seem to break out of.
Let me guess...
You often wake up feeling anxious, suspicious, or replaying past events of pain, resentment and trauma.
You spend your day in the cycle of drama and chaos with them, taking the bait for every fight, getting wrapped up in rescuing them, while neglecting your own health and needs.
And by the end of the day, you’re feeling exhausted, bitter, and find yourself still trying to solve the problem of their addiction.
Another day has gone by in the same unhealthy cycle....
Where you opt to engage in destructive compulsive behaviors and put your own health on the back burner... again.
(Hm, where have we seen this vicious cycle before...)
You DOhave Power!
You have the POWER of influence!
Partners and close friends and family members of people in addiction are in the uniquely powerful position to encourage recovery through the power of influence!
EVEN IF you've tried it all before, it's not too late to encourage recovery, and transform your relationship with a loved one in addiction for the better!
Why does influence matter?
Think about it for a second. When it comes to addiction, where else do we hear the word "influence"?
"Under the influence"
If you’re on this page, you probably matter a LOT to someone who struggles with addiction (yes, even if they say you don’t).
Under the influence of drugs, alcohol, friends, dealers, and other negative influences that are keeping them stuck.
Our loved ones are already suffering under the influence of their addiction, so it's clear that external forces can and DO influence their experience.
Not only that, but it's very likely that they picked up their addiction due to the influence of someone else in their lives. Whether that be a friend, a coworker, a family member, or yes, maybe even a doctor.
The truth is, some human being other than themselves played a part in the beginning of their addiction.
So why shouldn't a human being other than themselves play a part in their recovery?
Unfortunately, we often hear exactly the opposite when we look for advice and support.
If you love someone in addiction, you’ve probably heard someone say one of these things…
“They have to hit rock bottom”
“The only way to help them is tough love”
“Once an addict, always an addict”
Not only are these statements way oversimplified...
They’re the OPPOSITE of what research proves is necessary to support a successful recovery.
And the thing about “we are powerless” in the face of their addiction?
Maybe that’s true for some people. But if that’s the case, we may as well stop going to the doctor, and stop asking advice, and stop giving each other hugs.
Because that stuff is all useless right? We are all powerless. Nothing we do has any affect on other people…
(obvious sarcasm)
Starting to hear how wrong some of this stuff sounds?
You are NOT Powerless
Not only is it plainly untrue when we look around and see how we are affected by others, but it’s even backed up by science!
Research shows us that many addiction cliches are stereotypes and generalizations, that don’t hold up in reality, and are proven false when studied.
Here's where itgets REALLY hard...
If you love someone in addiction, YOU'RE hurting too!
And it's HARD to support someone else, or be any kind of a positive influence on them, when YOU are falling apart.
You need guided HEALING so you can process the trauma that's been trapped in your body over years of dealing with their addiction.
You need compassionate SUPPORT to bring you out of the pain, chaos and darkness that their addiction has influenced within your life
But where are you supposed to find that healing and support?
Let's Talk About Your Options.
Many of the “solutions” that are considered to be the only option for partners and families, don’t really solve anything.
(I'm looking at you, support groups)
Those support groups I tried said “keep coming back”.
If I had known then what I know now about those groups, I wouldn't have gone once.
The things I had been told about "addicts" were just NOT true when it came to me and my experience with addiction, so I started researching what WAS true.
I decided to line myself and my behavior up with the findings from studies I was reading, and I applied the conclusions to my own life. When I realized where I had been going wrong, I started living differently.
It made a HUGE difference, in my life, and in others.
"But wait, I thought those people in the support groups told you you were powerless?"
Yeah, that's funny isn't it?
Did You Know...
Studies have shown that people in addiction whose families attend AlAnon only, have a 13% likelihood of starting recovery?
Thirteen percent??
Compare this to the Johnson Intervention method at 29%, and the Community Reinforcement Approach at up to 75%, and it's plain to see that these free support group programs DO NOT work, even if you "work it".
Wondering which method we learn in Heal for Real?
(Keep Reading)
What is Heal for Real, and who is it for?
I created Heal for Real as a "rehab for us" - a recovery program for partners and families of those in addiction.
One that actually WORKS.
This is support for the supporters.
It seems everyone has an opinion of what that person in addiction should do for their own recovery. But very rarely is there any advice or support for the partners and families, aside from "find a support group" or "leave them".
Neither of those so-called solutions are sustainable, and neither of them are supported by modern research.
They're also not realistic.
Especially if you're in a constant state of worry, frustration, or resentment, trying to help them overcome their addiction.
I know what it's like feeling like your only options are either useless, or WAY too risky.
That's why I created Heal for Real.
We deserve a better option.
But before I get ahead of myself, I want to make sure you know that this program is NOT a "magic wand".
The work inside of Heal for Real is hard, sometimes ugly, but absolutely necessary and rewarding.
So let's talk about what's inside.
The Work Inside Heal for Real
Breaking Toxic Behavior Patterns
Retool your day-to-day behavioral dynamics in a way that supports YOU and your ideal life, while creating the environment necessary to sustain recovery and support new, healthy lifestyles.
Removing Damaging Mental Strongholds
Develop a deeper understanding of addiction and the recovery process, beyond the common clichés, so you can heal resentment, improve your relationship, and LEAD the path to recovery by starting with YOU.
Achieving YOUR Goals and Dreams
Uncover the stumbling blocks that have prevented you from making meaningful changes in your life, and follow strategies to accomplish your goals REGARDLESS of their addiction or behavior.
The Heal For Real Process
Heal for Real isn't just another course—it’s a rehab for YOU.
This six-month intensive process isn’t about surface-level coping or sitting in circles venting our problems. It’s about real recovery for partners and families—designed with the latest research in family systems, positive psychology, attachment theory, and behavioral science.
Each phase is broken down into manageable chunks, because healing from the trauma of loving someone in addiction isn’t something you bulldoze through. It’s deep, complex, and personal. We start by helping you stabilize your own life—your emotions, your nervous system, your routines—so you're no longer at the mercy of someone else’s chaos. Then, we teach you how to shift your relationship from codependence and desperation into something healthier, whether they’re sober or not.
📌 Module 1:
Integrity First
Improve your own lifestyle so they can see you as a person of integrity.
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📌 Module 2: Release Resentment
Heal the resentment and anger so you can stop being triggered by their addiction.
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📌 Module 3: The Truth of Addiction
Debunk the myths of addiction that are damaging trust between you
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📌 Module 4: Emotional Deep Dive
Discover your own deeper emotional truths so you can help them with theirs.
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📌 Module 5: Relationship Rehab
Develop relationship skills so you can support recovery with healthy connection.
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📌 Module 6: Freedom & Future
Design a life that YOU DESERVE so their addiction doesn’t drive your future.
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Included When you Enroll in Heal for Real:
Support:
Live Q&As to give you REAL strategies for recovery. Connect with others who are doing the work alongside you.
Get your questions answered each week in a safe environment.
Heal for Real Online Course:
6 month virtual recovery elearning course for partners and families.
Over 50 recovery training videos in a guided format to help you stop codependent patterns, and lead the path to recovery.
Project Influence - 7 Day Course:
Intro-to-Recovery Course that gives you a 7 day jump-start to transform your relationship with someone in addiction.
Project Influence Workbook to help you track your progress.
Lifetime access to content:
Self-paced program allows flexibility so you can heal in your own time, on your schedule.
Lifetime access to course content and support, revisit any content whenever you need to.
PLUS lifetime membership inside The Recovery Revolution Network!
Private support group meetings with vetted members you can trust
Access to specialty group calls
Reference library of recovery resources & recorded content
Forum where you can ask questions, chat with community members and coaches, and get help when YOU need it
Join Heal for Real
Recovery For Partners and Families
In order to Heal for Real,
we need to get to WORK!
Developing strong boundaries
Finding our PEACE
Improving Self Esteem
Creating a STABLE life
Healing resentment
LOVING who YOU are!
And you can do ALL of that inside of Heal for Real
This page you’ve been reading is dedicated to you, and people just like you, who love someone in addiction, and need better solutions.
You deserve real support to help you manage and overcome the chaos you’ve been stuck in.
You deserve real support to help you manage and overcome the chaos you’ve been stuck in.
Get YOUR Recovery Started inside of Heal for Real!
Heal for Real has helped partners and loved ones of people in addiction learn the skills to CHANGE their situation, encourage recovery, and take back their life.
Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes, so if you're ready to get OFF the addiction roller coaster and lead the path to recovery, join me inside Heal for Real.
Ready to get started?
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